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The epidemic of estrangement Whether to cut-off communication with some or all family members is the subject of a separate blog post. It is absolutely the right choice in some cases.  This post is for those who have been cut-off, and is a guide on how to cope and, where possible, move toward healing reconciliation. Few experiences are as painful for parents as losing contact with a child who is still alive. When an adult child chooses estrangement, whether suddenly or after y

I’m seeing more of this. Estrangement, or cutting off contact with family members has been ubiquitous in the media lately.  Probably because of my specialty in working with older couples, I’ve had multiple cases over the past few years requesting help reconciling with an estranged child.  Of course, I do provide guidance about how to handle the child’s new boundary, and facilitation for reconciliation, but often I see estrangement from a child has the impact of starting or wo

I am as cranky as anyone when celebrity therapists over-hype their approaches, especially when they seem to occupy more pedestal space than they merit. But I’ve been disheartened by what looks to me to be a trend in professional articles and blogs criticizing others’ work and tools, sometimes with invalid arguments.   While it’s true that some emperors have no clothes, these days you can find “research” either exalting or demolishing almost any clinical model. In my fourth de

There are mounting moments of reckoning in the thirties, forties, and beyond when we observe that our quick mental reflexes aren’t quite as sharp as they once were. We may not memorize new information as easily or pick up new technologies as quickly as the youngest in our field. This is the decline of  fluid intelligence : the raw processing power of the brain, our ability to reason, spot patterns, and solve problems we haven't encountered before. It can feel terrifying, but

A parent asks the questions that every parent has about rebellious teenagers. Dear Alex: My 16 year old twins (boy and girl) have become much more difficult in the past three years. In early childhood, they were obedient, fun, happy to be with us, and did great in school. We built some wonderful memories together. Now I can hardly recognize them. They are rebellious, angry, sullen, uncommunicative, and would rather die than spend time with us. This is impacting my relatio

A Simple Way to Start the Day Organized (and Feel Better) I work with many clients who, whether formally diagnosed or not, think of themselves as  ADHD-ish  or  Spectrum-ish . A common theme is difficulty with: initiating tasks—especially unappealing ones, making decisions, keeping focus, and organizing work . Like so many challenges in my practice, these struggles reinforce each other in a cycle that feels hard to break. For Simplicity, here are nine steps you can take at t

There's a lot to think about aging. How to live it healthily, happily, connectedly, and make it last. There is lots of good to be had...

In nine out of ten cases, when I see couples—or teams, families, or even strangers—caught in heated arguments about practical issues, the...

Since I've been offering Ketamine Assisted Therapy in my practice, some partners have asked about its applicability for couples' therapy....

What is new? In February 2025, I began a relationship with a medical/psychiatric organization called Journey Clinical to handle the parts...

As a psychotherapist, I use a variety of modalities and techniques for helping couples communicate, empathize, heal ruptures, and become...

Why Sleep is So Important I believe that feeling good a big part of what life is about.. While good sleep definitely contributes to...

Unlocking the Power of the I-Message in Communication The ways in which we interact are the strongest influences in the outcomes we get...

Avoidable human suffering accrues as a result of the absence in Mental Health Care of the type of precision diagnosis and personalized...

When you set out on your therapeutic journey, it's important that you have the right person accompanying you. Don't overthink it -- but...

Recognizing emotions is the first step in emotional intelligence. Not all of us are equally fluent in the language of emotions.   The...

You may be happy or unhappy with the results. If you are happy with them, you don’t need to read most of this, but if your loved ones are...

Clients have been discussing feeling shocked, disoriented, fearful, and angry in the wake of the election. I will make additional posts...

There are many kinds of meditation for different purposes, and it’s my observation that whatever style of meditation you use helps you in...

Toxic Partners: For the past decade, there has been a lot of media attention to narcissism in relationships, and lately about borderline...