Kaples Therapy (Ketamine Asssited Psychotherapy- KAP in Couple Therapy

Since I've been offering Ketamine Assisted Therapy in my practice, some partners have asked about its applicability for couples' therapy.. Having consulted with other therapists who use KAP with couples, done some literature research, and observed a few cases, while it's not for every couple, I'm impressed that for for some partners it can be profoundly transformative.

Distinct from communication coaching that characterizes a certain amount of couple therapy, the internal experience from a dosing session, followed by integration helps with shifting emotional stuckness, loosening defenses, and reconnecting to deeper feelings — both toward yourself and your partner. Experiences in a ketamine session reduce the "ego defenses" that normally keep people guarded, and allow each partner to feel and express vulnerabilities that are normally hidden by anger, fear, or pride. This can make it easier to speak from a place of emotion instead of blame — things like "I felt lonely" instead of "You never listen." Note: This does not mean that you will necessarily decide that you should stay together with your partner, nor is that the objective. If you are in the process of discernment (deciding whether to stay or go), it may help you to become more clear on your feelings and motivations, what your partner represents for you, and put in perspective your fears regarding continuing the relationship or leaving it.

For couples are stuck in repetitive loops, including Gottman's Four Horsemen, Ketamine increases neuroplasticity, allowing partners to see these loops more clearly from a distance — like stepping out of the fight and realizing "oh, this isn’t me versus you, it’s both of us stuck in fear." These insight can make behavioral changes feel less threatening.

If you know my work, you are aware that I'm very big on enhancing empathy in communication. Under ketamine, people often feel increased compassion — for themselves and others. In couples therapy, this means partners can reconnect to the reasons they loved each other and see each other’s pain, and experience feelings of caring and curiosity rather than feeling defensive against perceived blame.

Many couples come to therapy with accumulated old resentments, such as wounds from infidelity, neglect, betrayal that make the relationship seem not worth saving. It's my belief and observation that couples can move through those feelings and remake their connections, but some couples decide that the pain and time are not worth it and that they are getter off giving up. It's fascinating to me that Ketamine can make the processing of hurt, grief, mourning, and forgiveness both gentler and faster.

For more general information on Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, you might want to look here:

Could Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy be right for me?