ADHD-ish?

I have a number of clients who, whether or not they’ve been so-diagnosed, think of themselves

and their challenges and strengths as being ADHD-ish and/or Spectrum-ish.  Many have in common that they suffer with difficulty initiating actions – especially unappealing ones, and organizing their work.  Scroll down for a quick and easy way to start the day organized and feeling better.

Like so many of the vexing challenges I see in my practice, these two form a self-reinforcing syndrome they have trouble breaking. It goes something like this:

Ariel, on any given day, knows they have a set of things they ought to get done.  Some of those things carry over from prior days and weeks, and others pop up or start up this morning or during the day.  

Feeling already unpleasantly worried about what they might be forgetting, and simultaneously feeling guilty about not starting sooner, Ariel jumps in and starts working on the most obvious task, but is distracted by worries about what they might be forgetting.  Soon enough, the worries take over and Ariel starts phone scrolling to get a break from the worry, and forgets where they left off, and it takes more time to find the thread and re-start.  It makes for an unpleasant, and unproductive day, and makes Ariel feel bad about themself.  

If this feels familiar, here is a quick and easy mental and practical way to turn it around:

First:  If you are feeling like your daily work isn’t what you want to do – if it doesn’t fit you, consider this:  You don’t have to do it. Many people, and especially neuro-expansive folks find themselves in jobs and situations that feel awkward and uncomfortable, give no fulfillment, and seem like a daily losing battle.  And they get stuck there because they feel like they have to make a success out of it, and forget that they can do something else.  Even if you don’t decide to make a change, it can feel better to know you have a choice. 

Next: List out your big and small tasks and projects:  Check mark those that are very important or very urgent. The list doesn’t have to be perfect or exhaustive.  Many of us don’t even make it to this step because we can’t conceive of all the steps involved in completing any of these tasks or projects, but for now, it doesn’t matter.  We’ll get to that later.  If it helps prompt you, comb through your email (but don’t take the time to answer any emails now) and see if any additional tasks or actions pop out.  

As you’re listing out your items, include:  What fun do you want to have?  What do you want to feel good about accoomplishing? With whom do you want to connect?  What's your self care plan?

Now:  Remind yourself that it's okay to take a break.  Listen to your brain and body.  Taking breaks is good, but set a timer so you’ll know when to redirect.  

Now, review your list and check mark those that are very important or very urgent

For the most important or urgent, on another document, list out all the parts of the task or project that you can think of that might be part of it.  It's okay to not get all of them, or not get them perfect.  Perfection is the enemy of progress, and doing this will make your organization better, and that’s what we’re aiming for.

When you feel you are ready to move on, (and that will probably be soon – and you can use that as a super power), put the tasks in some order.  Again, i tdoesn't have to be perfect -- you'll adjust as you need to as you go.

Identify what you need/who you need to talk to -- Use your calendar and alarms to set appointments with yourself or other people with whom you need to collaborate, get information from, or inform.

This is key:  To get started, do the SMALLEST thing -- and/or the most interesting thing just to prime the dopamine pump.  (That is to say, we think about  motivation backwards:  Action stimulates motivation.  We can sit around all day waiting for  motivation to arrive, but taking an action releases the neurotransmitter, dopamine.  And it does not matter how big or small the action is!)

Enjoy the reward: Check off steps as you complete them so your brain isn't cluttered with worry over whether you remembered everything, and take  pride and pleasure in what you are accomplishing.  

About Decisions: Remember that decisions don't have to be perfect/best.  You are human and you can decide differently later.

Also Remember, you aren’t going to implement this perfectly the first day.  But it is going to get better and better as you refine making your lists.  It may be helpful to think of it as an experiment:  Would you be willing to try it for a week and then evaluate whether starting your day like this costs time or saves time, and whether it makes you feel better?